We gave Ethan a promotion and a trash verdict in the same episode

Three minutes into this episode, Lauren stops the bit entirely and says: “I would like to officially announce Ethan in his new transition and new role as the CEO of EMMIE Collective.” No lead-in. No warning. Sydney has to clarify for the audience that this is not a joke.

Ethan Thomas has been EMMIE’s growth advisor for over a year — the guy who showed up to give Lauren and Sydney a budget and a forecast and discovered, mid-onboarding, that nobody had told them they were already successful. Now he runs the company. Lauren, for the record, is thrilled to hand it off and move into the CMO chair she’s clearly wanted since day one.

Also in this one: the tandem bike metaphor Ethan used to explain why EMMIE needed a real budget, a full breakdown of everyone’s liquid protein intake, the straw incident, and the moment Ethan realized “calm and friendly authority” was actually Lauren writing a bit about him the entire time.

There’s also a merch order that made Ethan laugh so hard off-camera that four other people started laughing at him laughing. We are not explaining what was ordered.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

— Sydney, who called it before anyone else did